I walked into the computer room and I thought "Oh no he didn't! NOT my hair serum! Are you effing kidding me??? What is it doing here?" I was livid! That hair serum was from Sephora and it had lasted over a year already and it was for $40. I only used a drop every time I straightened my hair and now it was empty. I had so much left over the last time I used it!!! What a F-wad!
By this time, we had been married for a few months. We had had so many fights about the lack of sex in our marriage. It got ugly. He said he didn't like sleeping with me because of my attitude. He said that I turned him off when I argued. I'm not a needy person generally, but come on! Months? We're newlywed. I had a right to argue and wonder why the hell he didn't want me. Also, by this time, I had been so bored that I picked up a substitute teaching gig. It was a little extra cash and it was a way for me to get out of the house. I welcomed it with open arms. Ok so it isn't like I loved it or enjoyed it, but the little high school boys were always telling me that I was hot or if they were being polite, beautiful. I was beginning to feel a little confident but he knew exactly how to make me feel awful. I still felt ugly and gross in front of him. But that wasn't even the big issue...
The fighting started getting intense because one day I was sitting in bed watching TV before I fell asleep. It was late and he was going to "do a couple of things on the computer." It had been an uneventful day. He went to work, I went to work. I came home, cooked dinner, he came home, we ate, I made a few calls as I usually did to keep me occupied before I went to bed, then we were both in bed getting ready to sleep. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then, from the other side of the wall, I started hearing...ummm...let's just say I heard the sounds you would hear if your were watching a women's tennis match - a lot of moans and grunts. I lowered the volume on the television to listen. I was appalled. I was shocked and confused. Why? Why would he need to watch porn? So I sat patiently and waited... Maybe he was looking for a turn-on. 5, 10, 15, minutes went by...he didn't come back to bed. Then I heard him go into the bathroom, turn on the water, flush, then come to bed and within a couple of minutes he was asleep and snoring.
What the....nothing about that made sense.
I went to the computer to check the history. Yup! Definitely porn! Ok, let it go. Maybe it was a one time thing. This continued to happen nightly for a few days. The same scenario every night. He'd wait until I was in bed and then go to the computer in the other room. So, one night, I decided to creep into the room to catch him red-handed. I needed to do it quickly because I didn't want to catch him any other kind of handed. The idea of that was enough to make me want to throw up! I caught him and confronted him. This will be hard to believe, but he actually denied it. There's two people doing the nasty on the computer screen in crazy gross detail as he says, "No. I don't watch porn." It's right there on the freakin screen!!! Are you kidding me??? The story is it was a pop-up. I laughed so hard, but then I called him a liar and we fought and fought and fought. I showed him the history...needless to say he started deleting history going forward...and asked him how in the world can that many pop-ups attack him while he's on the computer meanwhile not one would appear when I was on the computer. He continued to deny it. I must have a stupid look to me cause he seriously believed that I was.
The point is, he didn't stop. But I was appalled by this gross behavior on such a regular basis. He became a bit more savvy about it...I wasn't in the next room unless he thought that I was completely asleep and he would almost always erase the history, but it kept happening. I had to hide all of my lotions and creams because I kept finding them on the computer desk. I loved the time that I found my Chanel face cream along with paper towels. I hid everything except for my hair products. Then I found my empty $40 hair serum.
I found out how to put parental controls on the computer and hid all of my hair products as well. He still found a way. Even as recently as the last time I saw him, I still keep finding pretty wonderful things on the computer every once in a while when he forgets to erase history. Gross! Repulsive! Disgusting man! But I'm a slut...
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