Trapped Like A Fart In A Car

Did he just fart in the car as we drove away from our reception??? I'm still in my wedding dress!  Is this real life??? My thoughts are all over the place. "Did you just fart?" I manage to ask.  "Yes, figured you might as well get used to it. I do it all the time." "Well, that's wonderful!  I'm going to ignore the fact that you've never farted in front of me in 2 1/2 years and ask you to please open a window."

Yes, that did happen. He laughed. I knew my life had changed forever. That was 7 years ago.  I took the easy way out and I was going to pay for my choice. I come from a strict Middle Eastern background. I hardly dated people from my own culture, but marriage was different. Marriage was reserved for the one who my family will accept. Marriage is reserved for the one who came from good families and had a good education. Marriage was reserved for the guy who can speak my father's language...it didn't matter that my father's language is silence as he watches TV.  Love - what is that anyway??? I still don't know!

He fit the marriage mold. Awesome job or at least will be - he was a medical school grad about to start residency. Awesome family. (I just typed fail by accident instead of family - hahaha - quite Freudian and I needed to share). That's all that matters, right?  To a Middle-Eastern father, absolutely!  I had already ruffled the feathers too much throughout my life that I thought I should do this one thing for my dad, who had lost my mom 3 years prior and needed a break. But I was raised here. This guy wasn't. Right there! That alone is not a good recipe. But he didn't have an accent and he seemed entrenched in American pop culture. He knew more about Britney Spears than I did or cared. I wasn't going to have a language barrier. We both loved movies. He actually wanted me and said it.  I wasn't really used to that from guys in my culture. I was 29 and nearing my expiration date.  Marriage was the right thing to do. The "All the cool girls did it" peer pressure was definitely playing a part.  And he held his farts....

They were the absolute wrong reasons to get married. He didn't take too long to show his true colors. I just kept trying to paint them something else for too long.  The one thing that I realized right away - after being married for 2 days - he's not into sex as much as initially implied. I think it was about a month or so before we had another roll in the hay after our first night as a married couple. The time in between rolls only kept increasing as time went on. So much else went wrong with the marriage but I can't put it all in one post - there's plenty more posts to come.  And he farted...all the time...especially in the car...